Excerpt from Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove
This is the penultimate scene, in the War Room in the
Pentagon. The President, the Soviet
ambassador, and the assembled advisors have apparently just learned that Major
Kong’s plane has succeeded dropping a bomb on a Soviet missile complex,
triggering the Soviet “Doomsday Weapon,” which will cover the entire earth in a
“shroud” of fatal fallout lasting around one hundred years.
Dr. Strangelove: Mr. President, I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens. It would be quite easy. Hnh. Hnh.[1] At the bottom of uh, some of our deeper mine shafts. Radioactivity would never penetrate a mine some thousands of feet deep. And in a matter of weeks, sufficient improvements in dwelling space could easily be provided.
Pres. Muffley: How long would you have to stay down there?
Dr. Strangelove: Well, let’s see now, uh, cobalt-thorium G, uh, hmmph, uh, (fiddles with circular slide rule) the radioactive half-life, uh, unnn … I would think that uh, possibly, uh, one hundred years.
Pres. Muffley: You mean … people could actually stay down there for a hundred years?
Dr. Strangelove: It would not be difficult, Mein Fuhrer! Nuclear reactors could…heh, I’m sorry, Mr. President. Nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely. Greenhouses could maintain plant life. Animals could be bred and slaughtered. A quick survey would have to be made of all the available mine sites in the country, but I would guess that, ahh, dwelling space for several hundred thousand of our people could easily be provided.
Pres. Muffley: Well I… I would hate to have to decide who stays up and who goes down.
Dr. Strangelove: Well, uh, that would not be necessary, Mr. President. It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set, and programmed, to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross-section of necessary skills. Of course it will be absolutely vital that our top government and military men be included, to foster and impart the required principles of leadership and tradition. (bangs his left fist on the arm of his wheelchair, and his right arm jerks upward in a Nazi salute) Warrrgh! (He pulls his right arm down with his left). Actually, they would breed prodigiously, eh? There would be much time, and little to do. (faint giggle) But uh, with the proper breeding techniques and a ratio of, say, ten females to each male, I would guess that they could then work their way back to the present gross national product within, say, twenty years. (The president and Turgidson are shown sitting together during this last part. The president looks thoughtful, while Turgidson is listening raptly with wide eyes.)
Pres. Muffley: But look here, doctor, wouldn’t this nucleus of survivors be so grief-stricken and anguished that they’d, well, envy the dead and not want to go on living?
Dr. Strangelove: No sir. Uhh, excuse… (struggles with his right arm some more, finally beats it repeatedly with his left hand) No sir, when they go down into the mine everyone would still be alive! There would be no shocking memories, and the prevailing emotion will be one of nostalgia for those left behind. Combined with a spirit of bold curiosity for the adventure ahead! Hah! (Right arm again jerks up in a Nazi salute, which he again pulls down and beats with his left fist. He then wrestles with his gloved right hand for a while. He bites his right hand, which then grips his neck) Graaah! (Continues to wrestle)
Gen. Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the, uh, ratio of, uh, ten women to each man. Now, uh, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called, uh, monogamous sexual relationship, I mean as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Uhh, regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious … (his right arm again is threatening to jerk; he grabs is suddenly with his left hand) … service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual – umph - characteristics, which will have to be of a highly … stimulating nature.
Ambassador Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, doctor.
Dr. Strangelove: (Slams down his right arm with his left, yet again.) Thank you, sir.
Gen. Turgidson: (Quietly at first to Pres. Muffley, but quickly growing louder) I think we ought to look at this from a military point of view, I mean, ah, supposing the Russkies stashed away some big bombs, see, and we didn’t. When they come out in a hundred years, they could take over!
Another voice from off screen: (As Sadesky begins to quietly slip away from the discussion) I agree, Mr. President! In fact, they might even try an immediate sneak attack so they could take over our mine shaft space.
Gen. Turgidson: (Shouting in increasing intensity) Yeah! I think it would be extremely naďve of us, Mr. President, to, uh, to imagine that these new developments[2] are going to cause any change in Soviet expansionist policies! (As Sadesky slips to one side, kneels, and quietly begins to take pictures of the “big board” with a camera concealed in his pocket watch) I mean we must be … increasingly on the alert, to prevent them from taking over other mine shaft space, in order to breed more prodigiously than we do, thus knocking us out through superior numbers when we emerge! (Turgidson stands and faces the president) Mr. President, we must not allow … a mine shaft gap!
Dr. Strangelove: Sir, (rising from his wheel chair to stand in emphasis of his point) I have a plan. (pauses, looks down at his feet, startled to see himself standing. Trembling, and taking a shuffling step forward, he shouts:) Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!
(Cut to final scene, footage
of repeated nuclear explosions while the song “We’ll meet again” plays.)