How to Handle Loneliness and Homesickness
Homesickness is almost universal, especially when new freshmen separate from family and friends to attend college. Anxiety and sorrow about transitions may be experienced all through the life span, from leaving mom and dad to go to kindergarten through high school graduation; leaving one job to go to another; traveling for an extended time out of the country; or other positive or negative life events associated with growth and change. Here are a few suggestions for coping with this aspect of your college experience.
- Admit that you are homesick or lonely. Be in touch with your feelings and needs.
- Talk about it with an older sibling or a friend who has also gone away from home.
- Surround yourself with familiar and comforting items, either from home or from your new school. Photos, plants, stuffed animals, a soft blanket or pretty comforter are popular choices, but personalize your surroundings to reflect your uniqueness.
- Become familiar with your new surroundings. Make it a point to explore every building on campus, walk around the campus, know where your classes are held and where important services are located, e.g., the Wellness Center and the Writing Center.
- Invite others along on your exploration. Others are likely overwhelmed at times also.
- Keep in touch with people back home and friends on other campuses. A letter or e-mail may provoke less sadness than a phone call. Let them know that you want to hear from them, too.
- Plan dates to go home and make the arrangements. This gives you something to look forward to and can help in scheduling times strategically around your academic work load. Planning visits, such as parents weekend, or going home for a friend's wedding or your birthday, helps to curtail impulsive returns to your home and keeps you focused on your goals on campus.
- Seek new opportunities and view the transition as positive and growth-producing: all of those new classes, people to meet and co-curricular activities provide wonderful chances to either share a favorite interest or activity or develop new interests.
- Have appropriate expectations. Don't expect perfection from your first semester. Laugh at your mistakes and focus on ways you are growing here at school. Friendships take time to develop; you may meet your best friend in your Freshman Experience class on the first day, or it may take until longer for you to develop the friendship network that provides what you need and enjoy.
- Remember that loneliness is not the same thing as being alone. We all need time out from others to rest and explore without being constantly busy or always involved in an activity with others. Find the balance that works best for you. Use your past history as a guide.
For more information or if you would like to talk to a counselor please contact Counseling Services.