Franklin’s Freedom Brew[1] Sung to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd[2]
Well I may not own a shotgun Or speak in fractious tones abroad And even though I don’t say “hella”, “ayuh”, or “aint”,[3] I’m still a proud American.
There are breweries around the country Built to make jobs in ‘33[4] Just a sip and you’ll understand why The Japanese tried to take our Hawaiian facility.[5]
Fresh cool dark and free beer! Where eagles fly over fields of wheat And apple pies cool on windows And there’s a McDonald’s on every street.[6]
Well whenever a country’s acting up We don’t sell them any gear Almost never can a country stand one night Without their all-American beer.[7]
Well other countries love the freedom But the Russians tried to kick it out So in those planes that flew to Berlin A thousand kegs of Frankie’s stout;[8]
In America we are so very free We’re not constrained in what we say But once you stray into the birds and to the bees For your soul we’ll surely pray.[9]
Gates sat brooding in a jail cell And if right then he only knew The perfect drink to heal those deep wounds Was of course Franklin’s Freedom Brew.[10]
The darkest beer on the whole globe Conceived by Silence Dogood, all alone For her fortnight-times fifteen long life, all she had[11] Was Frankie’s very own.
Our beautiful country treats us all well From the sea to shining sea After the sit-in in front of the courthouse[12] We’ll have some beer, not Goddamn tea.[13]
The freest barley go to make it And then the freest hops and yeast The freest barrels, the freest bottles It’s the freest six-buck beer you’ll taste.[14]
So let me say before I’m threw While we differ in the details My fellow Americans we were all born fully free And we all drink Franklin’s Freedom Brew.[15]

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[1] The beverage was so named after Benjamin Franklin, inspired by his apocryphal quote “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”

[2] This particular song was chosen not because of the Author’s affinity, but rather for its genre, country-rock, a typically home-grown American genre and one often connected with intense patriotism.

[3] All of the above are examples of regional American slang (from Northern California, New England, and the American South, respectively) none of which are found in the author’s everyday lexicon.

[4] Meant to evoke the “New Deal” public works programs instated under President Roosevelt following his election in 1933 that was largely responsible for bringing the country out of the great depression.

[5] This facetiously refers to the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor, Hawaii in 1941, an attack that brought the United States into the Second World War.

[6] This stanza brings attention to four prevalent American national symbols: eagles, apple pies, rolling fields of wheat (“Amber waves of grain”), and the golden arches.

[7] This refers to the common practice in American international relations of imposing trade embargos on countries that it perceives as acting contrary to its values and international objectives. The exception in the author’s mind was that of Cuba, whose present socialist regime has survived even after 49 years of strict trade embargos imposed by the United States.

[8] The Berlin airlift, the first major conflict in the cold war, began when the Soviets sealed off West Berlin in order to assimilate it into their territory, and concluded with a decisive American victory following prolonged American delivery of essential supplies by air. This passage cleverly suggests that the product it is selling was among the “essential” supplies,

[9] This was meant to refer to the squeamishness with which most Americans have confronting sex in the public sphere, and cultural compunction that has led to excessive censorship of the media, and, ironically, a constriction of free speech. It also brings up the presence of the religious right in the United States, a specter that has been a significant player in American politics since the late 1970’s.

[10] This refers to the recent controversy surrounding the arrest of noted African-American Harvard professor Henry Gates, an arrest that many on the left have speculated was racially motivated. The situation ended with the “Beer Summit”, where Gates, President Obama, and the officer responsible for his arrest gathered together at the white house for beer and discussion.

[11] As a boy, Benjamin Franklin wrote a fortnightly piece for his brother’s newspaper under the pseudonym “Silence Dogood”, a widow who presumably took up writing after the death of her husband. The column lasted 15 cycles until Franklin’s eventual discovery as the true author.

[12] This line draws attention to the long American tradition of public demonstrations, a right guaranteed by the first amendment of the United States constitution.

[13] Stereotyping other cultures is an American stereotype in-and-of-itself, and here the striking hostility towards tea, a traditionally British beverage, evokes a deeper xenophobia unfortunately common in many Americans.

[14] This stanza was included to allude ironically to the cultural quirk in the United States where everything is presumed to have a price, despite the emphasis on “freedom”.

[15] This ends the song on a positive note, and presents the American identity that, at least in the mind of the author, transcends racial, ethnic, and geographical boundaries and can sometimes, in the right circumstances, be reduced to a shared passion for the same patriotic beer.