“Trouble on Gaia”

by

Alec Ashford

900 State Street #A137

Salem, OR 97301

(415)-640-2665

The play takes place in the fictional neighborhood of Gaia circle, an allegorical cul de sc meant to be an extended metaphor for the entire world. The action centers on the two main characters of Lee Burty and John MacDonald. Each represents the United States and Canada, respectively. Different symbolic assets are given to each character to show the differences between the two countries. The character of John MacDonald is a diplomatic, mild-mannered resident of Gaia circle who takes good care of his family and pays his taxes on time. The character of Lee Burty is a single mother who left home at a young age, eventually becoming the most successful person in the neighborhood. She is an ambitious, sometimes heavy-handed leader in the neighborhood, the tight control over which has come to be resented by some of its residents. She has two children: Sarah, who represents the “traditional American”, conservative wing of American culture, and Marvin, who, with his hippie aesthetic, represents the liberal counter culture of America. Marvin is good friends with the elder MacDonald son, Francoise, who is French of mixed ancestry, and along with his mother Jasmine, represents Canadian multiculuralism. The character of William MacDonald, an Anglophone, is infatuated with Sarah, a fact that worries his parents, an allegory for the concern in Canada over the cultural integration into America that they see happening in the young people.

The story mainly revolves around the conflict over Hakim Mansur and a development project he is pushing for in the neighborhood. Hakim represents the greater Middle East, but more specifically Saddam Hussein, reinforced by Lee’s description of him as “tyrant” and someone who beats his family. Ultimately the play climaxes with Lee threatening to burn down his house after an act of vandalism against her own home (an allusion to 9/11), but unlike what actually happened, she is dissuaded from this course of action by John with the help of her own children. The central argument that the playwright is intending to convey is that although the US may act rashly or wrongly, it has good friends, like Canada, to count on, and that ultimately, the US is moving in a positive direction for world peace, especially in the next generation.

Character List:

Lee Burty: A 38 year old self-made single mother. Left her parents acrimoniously at the age of 16. Pulled herself together and attended business school and is now the most wealthy and powerful person in the neighborhood.

John A. MacDonald: An exceptionally obedient child growing up. He left home when he got married and now lives in his ancestral home next door to Lee. He remains extremely close to his grandmother.

Brittany Windsor: Grandmother to John

Jasmine Chow MacDonald: Wife of John, is French of mixed Persian and Japanese heritage

Sarah Burty: 17 year old daughter of Lee, listens to country music and plays the violin. Is a skillful equestrian and considers herself “a Reagan conservative”

Marvin Burty: 18 year old son of Lee, Frank listens to classic rock and plays the guitar. Has a penchant for tie-dye and frequently identifies with liberal causes. Greatly admires his neighbors.

Francoise MacDonald: 16 year old adoptive son of John and Jasmine. Is of French and African heritage.

William MacDonald: 14 year old son of John and Jasmine

Hakim Mansur: Arab resident of Gaia Circle

Sydney Ford: Australian cousin of John

Jahan Singh: Indian cousin of John

Atani Mabuto: African cousin of John

Kafimbo Buru: African cousin of John

Dimitri Stavros: Greek Cypriot cousin of John

Muata Davis: Jamaican cousin of John

EXT. MACDONALD HOUSE – FRONT PORCH – DAY

John rushes excitedly out and watches as a car pulls up to the curb. An elderly woman, Brittany Windsor, wearing a pink dress and a large pearl necklace steps out.

JOHN

Granny!

BRITANNY

John! You’re looking well. Where is your wonderful wife Jasmine?

JOHN

She’s still in the kitchen. Come in! The cousins will be arriving any minute.

As John helps Brittany up the stairs, a humming starts in the distance. As they get to the top stair, it has become extremely loud. It ends suddenly with a loud crash offstage.

SYDNEY (O.S)

Crikey! I always forget about that damn garage door!

Sydney enters stage left wearing safari clothes and a floppy jungle hat. He hugs both John and Brittany

SYDNEY

G’day mate. Looks like you been keeping up all right without me. The rest are right behind me.

Suddenly more characters enter the stage. There is a man in a turban, Jahan Singh, and Atani Mabuto and Kafimbo Buru, both wearing long, colorful robes. Behind them are Dimitri Stavros, and Muata Davis, who is smiling broadly and whose hair is in long dreadlocks. All start making their way up the stairs.

BRITANNY

(whispers to John)

This is lovely, but where is my dear Mohammed?

JOHN

Ah. He decided not to come when he learned that Jahan was coming. Try not to mention anything about it. Anyway

(to the group)

Welcome! Dinner is waiting inside!

INT. FRONT HALL

Out of the kitchen door stumble Francoise and Marvin, one holding a massive bowl of kettle corn, the other a bag of Cheetos and Krispy Kremes. Their eyes are bright red.

JOHN

Everyone, you know my son Francoise, and this is his friend Marvin from next door.

The two boys stand awkwardly, grinning. Marvin starts to giggle.

FRANCOISE

Hello!

JOHN

(embarrassed)

Well! You two enjoy the snacks! We’ll just be down here catching up!

MUATA

I’ll catch you later, John, my-family. I realize I haven’t spent the propa’ time with my favorite cousins, yeah?

Muata whispers something to the boys, and they all go upstairs to Francoise’s room. The Grateful Dead is soon heard playing from above. Jasmine emerges from the kitchen with a platter of vegetables.

JOHN

Oh, here’s my wife now. She has made something special for us today. French-Latin fusion food!

JASMINE

It was nothing! And I had plenty of help from William!

JOHN

Did you now? Where is William anyway?

JASMINE

He’s in his room right now practicing guitar. He’s playing along to country western!

Jasmine and John share a severe look. John shakes it off.

JOHN

Well everyone sit down! There’s lots to eat and we’ll need to be fully fed and completely visited before the neighborhood meeting! It’ll be led by Lee Burty tonight…as usual.

JAHAN

Hmph. That Lee has gotten altogether too bossy and domineering for my tastes.

JOHN

She’s just trying to make this neighborhood the best place she can in the only way she knows how. I know as well as anyone how ambitiously cutthroat she is and how much of a control freak she can be. She’s different from us…different from me…but she has a good heart…and I think we all have reason to believe in her and her family when all the chips are down.

INT. NEIGHBORHOOD MEETING HALL - NIGHT

Lee is presiding over the monthly neighborhood meeting. All households are represented. Sound of gavel.

LEE

Attention! Attention please! I’m glad all of you could make it to our meeting. We have some very important business to go over. First of all I’d like to hand it over to my good friend John MacDonald, who has some news for all of us.

JOHN

Yes! We are planning a benefit concert for Pedro Cazares, who has broken his leg and is therefore unable to tend either of our lawns. It will be held on the 17th at 6:00. I hope you all can attend.

LEE

This is a very important concert so I hope all of you make it. Moving on, I understand Hakim Mansur has an announcement. Would you like the floor, Hakim?

HAKIM

Thank you, Lee. I have an announcement concerning a development project I am about to start. As you know, my extraction business has been going well, and I think the time is good for me to add an extension on to my house.

LEE

An extension?

HAKIM

Yes. Currently I am envisioning adding a second story onto my home, and also a decorative clock tower adjacent to the chimney.

All attending look around unsurely at eachother.

LEE

Outrageous! There is nothing more distasteful than a big-old clock tower! It would ruin all of our property values!

HAKIM

With respect, it still would not be anywhere near as tall as your house—

LEE

(shouting)

That’s different! I needed a fourth story when Ivan Petrovich added his third!

Silence in the room.

HAKIM

(annoyed)

I’m sorry, but it is my property, and I have a right to do with it as I please.

Hakim leaves the podium. Lee, looking flustered, stands back up at the front

LEE

Well, if that’s all, I think we can say this meeting is adjourned!

Lee pounds the gavel. All start to file outside, except for Lee and John, who stay to talk.

LEE

Listen, John, about this clown Hakim…he has to be stopped.

JOHN

Well, I agree with you in that I don’t like his idea to build his extra story and clock tower…it would ruin our circles’ rustic aesthetic. But what do you propose we do about it?

LEE

I think you have a pretty good idea of what I was thinking of.

(Lee winks mischievously. John squirms uncomfortably.)

Will you be helping me then?

JOHN

I don’t know about that…I was sort of thinking more along the lines of a compromise or something. Maybe allow the extra story but not the clocktower?

LEE

(exasperated)

Oh, John, always with the compromise! You don’t compromise with people like Hakim. I hear the bastard beats his wife and kids. He’s a tyrant, and he can’t be reasoned with. You just don’t get it do you? Nothing ever gets done but through direct, unambiguous action. People need to know where you stand, and that you won’t be talked down from your position. If you don’t assert yourself, people will just walk all over you! Now, you don’t want to see that huge, distasteful monstrosity ruining our views, diminishing our property values, do you?

JOHN

Well, no, but—

LEE

Of course you don’t! And who would? You saw the faces of every person in that room tonight. They were all horrified. All of them hated the idea, but none of them had enough guts to tell Hakim to give up the hope. That’s where we come in.

JOHN

We?

LEE

That’s right, “we”. If you’re tired of people taking advantage of you all the time, meet me tomorrow night at midnight in front of Hakim’s house. We’ll show him who’s boss.

INT. MACDONALD HOUSE – WILLIAM’S ROOM - NIGHT

William is practicing guitar along to Willie Nelson recordings. His room is decorated with pictures of vintage cars and cowboys. Over his bed is an “American Beauty” poster. He struggles with a certain chord and then sets down his guitar and goes to stand at the window. He sees Sarah Burty practicing her violin through her bedroom window and watches her longingly.

JOHN

(at the door, surprising William)

William? What’s the matter? You seem down…

WILLIAM

(turning)

Oh, it’s nothing, dad.

JOHN

Are you sure?

WILLIAM

Sure…

JOHN

It’s not that Burty girl, is it?

WILLIAM

Oh, am I really that obvious?

JOHN

Well…

(glances around at the room’s decorations)

…Not…really. More of a feeling I had. But anyway, if this is the case, I’m worried for you

WILLIAM

Why?

JOHN

Well, William, Sarah is a Burty. And MacDonalds have always been different from Burtys.

WILLIAM

How do you mean?

JOHN

William, as long as I can remember there has always been a Burty living in that old house, just like there’s always been a MacDonald living in this one. We’ve always, least as long as I’ve been alive, been good friends and partners. We support each other, and we have mutual respect. But Burtys have always been different. They’re more proud, ambitious, even reckless. They value different things than we do.

WILLIAM

But Sarah is different!

JOHN

No, William. Sarah is very much the same as her mother. Now Marvin, he’s a black sheep, but still, he’s a Burty, and if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that our two households should always remain distinct. That’s the way it’s always been, and that’s the way that is best.

WILLIAM

But dad, Sarah—

JOHN

William, I’m only trying to help you. You need to trust that I know what’s best for—

FRANCOISE

(interrupting)

Dad?

JOHN

Not right now, Francoise, I’m busy talking to your brother.

FRANCOISE

It’s important, dad. Marvin came over a minute ago; he says he wants to stay at our house for a while. He says his mom has gone completely insane.

JOHN

I’ll be right down

LIVING ROOM

Marvin is lying on the couch, being comforted by Jasmine.

MARVIN

Oh my God, oh my God…

JOHN

What happened, Marvin?

MARVIN

It’s my mom…my mom and my sister. They’ve both gone bonkers.

JOHN

How so?

MARVIN

She’s vowed to destroy Hakim’s house…I swear, I’ve never seen her more angry in my entire life…she said she would need both me and my sister’s help, but I didn’t want anything to do with it. So I came here. I hope it’s all right if I stay with you guys for a little while.

JOHN

It’s fine for now…but Marvin, I have to ask, is there anything in particular that brought on this reaction in your mother?

MARVIN

Well, yes, there was actually. What happened was when she got back from the neighborhood council meeting, she discovered that the front of the house had been egged.

JOHN

Egged?

MARVIN

Yes, egged. Someone must have thrown several dozen eggs all over our front walls and windows. There was also toilet paper in the trees and shaving cream on the front lawn.

JOHN

And you’re saying this vandalism made her angry enough to want to destroy Hakim’s house before he could begin on his construction project?

MARVIN

Yes.

JOHN

This is all a bit much…is your mother even sure that Hakim or his family are the ones who did it?

MARVIN

No, in fact we actually have an idea of who it was. The initials “OBL” were written in shaving cream on the lawn…but my mom said it didn’t matter who did it…she said this “OBL” must have been in on it with Hakim and that it would be him who she would make pay.

Energetic sound of knocking at the front door. All turn.

FRONT HALL

John opens the door. Lee stands there, with a backpack and clutching a Molotov cocktail. Sarah is behind her.

LEE

John! My house has been vandalized and the whole neighborhood is against me! I’ve got to teach Hakim and his goons a lesson!

JOHN

I don’t think so, Lee. You’ve got to get a hold of yourself. I don’t want anything to do with your plans if they involve violence, and neither does your son.

LEE

Marvin! Have you seen him? Where is he? I’ve got to get him back so he can help.

Marvin appears behind John. Lee grabs for him but John blocks her.

JOHN

I’ve told Marvin he can stay here a while, at least as long as it takes for you to get a hold of yourself.

FRONT PORCH

Focus of audience shifts. John and Lee now speak in whispers as we see William sneak up behind Sarah and tap her on the shoulder.

WILLIAM

Hey!

SARAH

Oh, you startled me.

WILLIAM

Sorry. You want to take a walk?

SARAH

Sure. I’d love to get away…I sort of feel uncomfortable standing here like this with my mom, but I feel sort of obligated to back her up…unlike my brother. Truth be told, I don’t really believe all that my mom is saying…

William and Sarah start walking off. Focus of audience shifts back to John and Lee

FRONT HALL

LEE

You’ve always been a coward, John! Just like when you refused to help me rough up Phan Lan Dinh when he decided to paint his house bright red!

JOHN

You seem to be forgetting your history, Lee! You almost killed Dinh! You put him in the hospital for over a month! It’s a miracle you didn’t go to prison! And on top of that, he still got around to painting his house after all!

Lee looks like she has been slapped.

LEE

Well at least my parents weren’t still doing my laundry when I had children!

JOHN

And at least I have a clean house now! Yours is filthy! Filthy! Garbage stinks, you know, and yours hasn’t been taken out in weeks! And, I’m sorry; you don’t take proper care of your kids either. When Marvin skinned his elbow last month, he had to come here to be patched up. He said you didn’t have any bandages in the house.

LEE

Goddamnit! He knows that if he wants them he can buy them himself! And speaking of Marvin, I want you to turn him over right now! You have no right to keep my son from me!

SARAH

(from behind John)

Mom? I don’t think I want to help you burn down Hakim’s house.

LEE

(shocked)

Sarah? I thought…I thought if anyone, you would support me.

SARAH

I’m sorry, mom, I just don’t think it will help us at all. We would be obligated to rebuild it, and all it would do would get everyone in the cul de sac angry with us.

LEE

I…I don’t know what to say, Sarah.

SARAH

Come on, mom. Let’s go home and sleep on it. I’m sure you’ll feel better about it in the morning. We can clean up the mess from the vandals and I promise you you’ll feel glad you hadn’t acted so rashly tomorrow.

Lee looks weak. She nods and takes Sarah’s hand. They go to leave. Sarah turns back to look at William, and winks. William blushes and winks back. They leave.

JOHN

I never thought I would say it, but that Sarah is a real standup girl.

MARVIN

Yeah, old sis always seems to do the right thing in the end…after she’s exhausted every other option

The MacDonald family and Marvin all laugh.

MARVIN

Well, good night Mr. M. I don’t suppose I have a reason to be hanging around with you guys anymore tonight. I’ll see you around.

Marvin leaves

JASMINE

What a nice boy.

JOHN

Yes, I do believe there’s hope for that household yet. Maybe not in this generation, but certainly in the next.

JASMINE

The future is bright.

JOHN

Yes. Yes it is.

THE END